Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Dear Target,

Please feed your models.

That is all.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Dear South Carolina Couple,


Does anyone really know what Jesus looked like? What if your Walmart receipt bore the image of someone else? Can we please stop with the Jesus sightings until someone knows definitively what he looked like and/or if he actually existed?


Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Dear TSA,

I'm sure this will be an unpopular opinion, but congratulations on finally doing your job right.  Although checking a 95 year-old woman's diaper is reprehensible, had she been Muslim and wearing a head wrap, this wouldn't have made the news at all.


Thursday, April 14, 2011

Dear Willy Wonka,

You might want to consider renaming your Shockers™ candy.


Monday, April 11, 2011

Dear France,

If Muslim women want to wear a full burqa, who cares?  If you're going to criminalize something, start with Crocs.


Friday, April 8, 2011

Dear Target,

Nice try.  The LGBT community isn't buying it. You're starting to sound worse than Walmart.  And Walmart.  And Walmart.  And Walmart.  And Walmart.


Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Dear Huffington Post,

The quality of your "reporting" has gone down (even further).  So far down, in fact, that you are using as a credible news source (a site dedicated to outing silicone butts and celebrity venereal diseases).  Classy.

Is there a middle-of-the-road online news source that still honors good journalism (where I can still learn about Charlie Sheen's blood type and weekend agenda)?


Sunday, March 20, 2011

Dear Worry Warts,

Not to discount the disaster at Fukushima, but a couple of bored and/or underemployed scientists created a PNG file to put things into perspective for all those people who think the Japanese will be glowing with radioactivity from now on.


Sunday, February 27, 2011

Dear Mr. Gadhafi,

Please do us all a favor and step down peacefully.  Go pack up your fabulous wardrobe and retire.  No one wants to see how effective your all-women bodyguard squad can be.