Dear Charlie,

Why aren't you in jail?  You must have one helluva lawyer because you are damn near invincible.  You:

1. Shot your wife, who called the incident an "accident."  When exactly does taking out a gun and firing it become an accident?
2. Got caught up in a prostitution scandal, admitted to spending $50,000 on prostitutes, and escaped the process nearly unscathed. 
3. Assaulted a girlfriend, threatened to kill her, then paid her off when she filed a civil suit against you.
4. Overdosed on cocaine and got sent to rehab, much like another young starlet we all know.
5. Were accused by your wife of viewing underage porn, and threatening violence during divorce proceedings.
6. Assaulted another wife on Christmas day, held a knife to her and threatened to have her killed.  And will serve your time in a beachfront rehab facility in Malibu.  The same one that worked so well for Lindsay Lohan.
7. Trashed a hotel room in New York while on another bender and blamed your nudity and intoxication on allergies.  Since when are you allergic to cocaine?

All this and you still make $2 million per episode of 2 and a Half Men.  Hmmm.

L